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The Farm on the Heath (A short story)

The Farm on the Heath (A short story)

The heath had changed had colour, from a fiercely deep purple to weathered, wet grey.  

The heathers buffeted in the bleak wind, emblems of the strength of this land. 

The rain, cold and light, travelled westwards, like a moving curtain, closed and frigid, it’s mission never complete.  It put to ground the leaves that the wind stole from the trees; laid them there to rot and recreate in the spring.  

Further over the hillside, a muddy track lay from a solitary farm, three miles long, in a straight line to the road that led to the village.  

A young boy, no more than ten years old, and a sheep dog walked east along it, in the direction of the farm buildings.  Despite the weather, he was dressed in shorts and hobnail boots (no socks) and a flappy, thin jacket with a large flat cap that hid his hair.  He carried a long stick as a walking aide in his left hand, taller than he himself.  It clacked as its end met the suffering lane in time with his gait.  

Clack. Clack. Clack.  

Both fought against the lashes that the scolding wind threw against them, soaking their skin to the bone. The dog’s black and white fur lay in spiky clumps as he followed the boy willingly and diligently, his soulful brown eyes blinking against the elements.  

Clack, clack, clack.  

Finally, they met the gate of the farm.  It’s metal latch clanged loudly as the boy freed the catch, and it creaked open.  As it swung away, the rain suddenly stopped.  

A dark angry cloud lay in the atmosphere above.  It looked comfortable and averse to moving on, like a tired soldier climbing out of bed.  The sun pushed it gently towards its new destination.  A rainbow began to emerge.  The scent of the countryside rose up from the wet ground, clean and fresh, like new hay. 

The boy plonked through a puddle, carrying the stick above his head. The sensible dog padded around it.  An open- sided barn stood to their right, and old tractor and ancient farm machinery was left to rust under the slanted corrugated roof.  

The house lay straight ahead, it’s brick work dark from the storm.  A decrepit wooden door, with a brass fox-head knocker, was open, inviting all and sundry.  

The dog suddenly ran ahead and entered first, stopping briefly to shake itself dry, droplets flying over the threshold. 

The boy trailed after, no doubt relieved to find warmth and shelter.  He removed neither his boots or coat; he simply walked down the hallway and disappeared, out of sight, the dog already gone.  

The house had crumbled decades before, the only remaining part being the front side.  Parts of other walls behind stood with jagged tops.  Rooms bare to the extraneous outdoor life, different shades of wall paper, some floors still evident, but falling away, brick by brick.  It was like a cross section of a dolls-house.  No visitors ever came.  Everyone was too frightened.

My Monday Morning Blog #4

My Monday Morning Blog #4

Monday 27th April 2020

Number of words written last week: Hardly any!

This week’s target: continue editing until ready to enter on 30th April.

Last week’s focus: MAKE IT REAL

This week’s focus: as above.

Last week, although I set myself a goal for 5000 words – I changed it.  At the beginning of the week I came across a writing competition that attracted me and I considered if Ceiba Tree was ready for it’s first submission.  I resolved it would need a few adjustments and much editing, but it could be possible and it could be ready.  The deadline is 30th May, so if I’m going to do it, I need to be quick with this preparation, so the goal changed.

Firstly, I decided to create and Prologue with my first two chapters, which gives the opening a bit more of a ‘punch’.  Chapter 3 then became chapter 1.  It’s been a while since I read this chapter, and I began cutting and pasting with a passion, but believe I made it deeper.   Then on to chapter 4 and 5 – the same.  In order to get these first 15,000 words ready, I need to edit, edit, edit.  So, edit, edit, edit, I did.   Instead of adding words, I took some away.  Instead of telling I starting showing.  Now my total word count has reduced by about 500!  But I believe this work is making the story come alive.

Although I had a goal at the start of this week – I wasn’t afraid to change it.  But I also had an execution plan, which I feel was an important part of the work in visualising this new goal, which allowed me to vere away from the original goal with no guilt.  The feel of excitement at the prospect of entering a competition wills me on.  Not just that, but a clear vision of having the first few chapters of the book practically completed to a high standard.   To accomplish this means having an understanding of what success means me.  There is no end to my vision… it’s just a beginning after all.  If I want to change the goal posts I can, and it will help.  All of this aids with defining a clearer long term plan.  In turn, it gives me confidence each day and this all leads to being self-motivated. 

This didn’t actually take masses of time. I think one day, all I did was entered GTL in a book cover competition, and shared my first tweet about my upcoming book blog tour.  (Once this get’s going in May, I am hoping for some great review to spur me on.)

And this showed me that as long as I do something each day, even if it’s not writing, or it’s small thing like tweeting, this will eventually add up to some kind of result – and when I take the pressure off like that, things just seem to happen.

And a PS… I feel remarkably happy about my twitter following which I think i mentioned earlier is incredibly difficult to grow… but with a bit more interaction, my following has grown from 373 on 10th March to 408 today. That’s over one a day. Some people would say that was pathetic, but I believe it shows an honest and real organic growth.

My motivational quote for this week is: A LITTLE PROGRESS EACH DAY ADDS UP TO GREAT RESULTS.

My Monday Morning Blog #3

My Monday Morning Blog #3

Monday 20th April 2020.

Number of words written last week: 6500 (weekly target min 5,000).  Double yay!

This week’s target: min 5000

Last week’s focus: write, make it real, make it more real

This week’s focus: as above.

Managed to smash my target! Hurrah!

I found more ‘stuff’ this week which will help build on and stir up the contents of this novel.  During more research, it occurred to me that, whilst I know that African countries are fairly poor (and other hot, tropical zones where trees like Ceiba and Cacoa grow) I haven’t yet really given much thought to the fair trade issue of cocoa farmers.  They receive so little – about 3% of the price of a chocolate bar per day for all their work.  I now have a section of the book that covers this which I’m hoping can be an attraction to the novel because it intensifies the USP.  Also, my book coach Wendy Yorke encourages her writers to focuses on their own “What, Who, Why and How of your book”, and I really think that this particular part of my writing emphasizes these and make the story deeper and more engaging.

I also focused on a character’s ‘journal’ during this week, which I will use in the story too.  It brings an acute and genuine feel to how another character deals with guilt.  I became particularly excited when I started this because it has begun to ‘colour in’ some of the narrative – bringing it alive and making it real.  I hope I can carry this on as it’s especially encouraging and helps me to remain optimistic.

My motivational quote for this week: OPTIMISM IS THE FAITH THAT LEADS TO ACHIEVEMENT.  NOTHING CAN BE DONE WITHOUT HOPE AND CONFIDENCE (Helen Keller).

My Monday Morning Blog #2

My Monday Morning Blog #2

Monday 13th April 2020

Number of words written last week: 5000 (weekly target min 5,000).  Yay!

This week’s target: min 5000. (safe)

Last week’s focus: write, write, write.

This week’s focus: write, make it real, make it more real.

I feel slightly jovial that I achieved this week’s target, espeically as I partially failed last week (see last week’s Monday Blog). I say ‘partially as when I wasn’t writing I was researching, which, is as important as the rest. 

I managed to address some tricky situations in the plot that were not coming to me initially, and slowly it’s taking shape.  I find it amazing how when a certain situation is created, it all leads quite simply to the next situation and then bang, I have a hook and a twist.  But this wouldn’t come unless I began in the first place.

The research came in handy too – I managed to create a couple more characters and bring them to life in a realistic situation.  But I still need to add some depth and make them even more real.  It’s one thing putting down some realistic stuff on paper, but it’s another thing all together to make the words lift off the page with life and vigour and hook the reader in so completely that enter another world – the character’s world.

Self-discipline is the only key to working towards these targets I am setting myself.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy writing, I love it – it’s the doing it properly, and well that counts, and this is hard work. Without self-discipline it would not happen at all and I wouldn’t be writing this blog either.  But this type of self-discipline doesn’t mean being hard on myself or restricting the things I enjoy in order to do it.  No, it simply means controlling my actions, and my reactions.  So, when I don’t feel like writing, I think of how good I will feel once I finish a certain chapter, or a certain amount of words.  Because then the story moves on into another exciting phase, and I want to get to that phase.  And, on top of that, I achieved the thing I set out to do. So I have found that if I persevere with my targets, in order to achieve the next one, and the next, it begins to manifest as at type of inner strength and more importantly, self-confidence, because only then I can think ‘I knew I could do it!’, or even ‘I can be good at this, if I work at it’, and this will lead to ‘I can be better’, and at that point hopefully I can produce some of my best work.

So instead of thinking ‘I can’t be bothered today’, I will train myself to think, ‘I want to get to the next phase today’, and then, simply, ‘When I do, I will feel good about it’.   It’s just a different way of looking at it.

My motivational quote for this week: GOOD, BETTER, BEST.  NEVER LET IT REST.  ‘TIL YOUR GOOD IS BETTER AND YOUR BETTER IS BEST (St Jerome.)

Happy writing everyone!

My Monday Morning Blog #1

My Monday Morning Blog #1

Monday 6th April 2020

I have decided to create a short, sweet, Monday Blog to help me self-motivate.  This blog really is just for myself and I don’t intend to educate or pontificate or lecture to anyone, with it.  Its simply a way to self-discipline.

I have found my concentration waning from one extreme to the other lately so I want to record things so that what I produce when I’m motivated, can motivate me to do more of the same, without zoning out.

I’m not going to post highly edited works of fictional art here – simply sentiments of how I feel about what I have done and how my novel writing is going and try and keep myself targeted and focused.  I thought I would post and share because then I can’t simply forget about it and this will help me to keep my promises to myself.

I aim to write it on Mondays, because Mondays is ‘office day’.  That is, I don’t ride the horses, which takes up quite a lot of my time and energy, so I can usually spend it catching up on things I haven’t bothered to do the rest of the time.  Even though we’re in the middle of the Great (as in ‘enormous’, not ‘good’) Covid19 Lockdown of 2020, when I find myself with more time, I am still trying to keep my office day going, and hence I’ve called this my Monday Blog.

Feel free to add anything you may feel is useful to me, especially where I’m struggling.  Thank you 😀

Monday 6th April 2020. Monday Blog 1

Number of words written last week: 3000 (weekly target min 6,000).  Argh!

This week’s target: min 5000. Argh!

Last week’s focus: research, research, research.

This weeks focus: write, write, write.

As you can see, I failed abysmally with actually writing anything, but I DID get a lot of really good research done, which then motivated me to get an awful lot of scribblings down which I aim to transcribe into something amazing this week.   I also read parts of my African journal that I had completely forgotten about, like getting fake ID in order to get through an airport to travel from Buta to Kisingani in Zaire (now the Democratic Republic of Congo).  Very unlike me.  But it was great research because I had also described staying the night in a small village and sleeping in a real mud hut, which I will use in my novel.

As a PR excercise, I tried to get people to read my first chapter, and I didn’t get a very good response on Twitter.  No-one shared or even liked it, despite me re-tweeting.  (But thank you to those that are reading this who did leave a comment on the blog, I am very grateful).  I find Twitter quite frustrating…  it seems so difficult to interact effectively and achieve followers. It seems you have to have the wit of a professional comedian, or a brain the size of planet to get followers. I have little hope, but maybe this will help.  Anyone?

So my focus this week is to create more chapters, add more content and aim for 5000 words MINIMUM!

My motivational quote for this week: PUSH YOURSELF BECAUSE NO ONE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU.

 Let’s go.

Actually, I Can Write Again

Actually, I Can Write Again

 

My publishing journey has been on hold. After a break I didn’t emerge for quite a while. I discontinued going to my writing group.  Then I became involved in another project – collecting animals, including: three horses; three dogs; and two donkeys – and I bought some land to put them on! Most importantly, I ran out of money and was defeated by several publisher rejections. It drowned me and I gave up my writing.

I did think I’d pick it up again but couldn’t visualize when.  However, I didn’t stop reading my writer’s group emails. After about two years, an email arrived in my inbox entitled; ‘Stepping Down’, with the news that the current chairman was doing exactly that and he wanted to hear from anyone who would be interested to replace him. I could do that, I thought. And maybe, I could make the writer’s group a little more interesting. Make it work better for everyone. Perhaps, invite authors and coaches as guest speakers and, it might encourage me to write again. So, I went to the AGM and nominated myself. As it happened, I was the only nomination and I became Chairman, there and then. I guess that’s what you call grabbing an opportunity.

The following year, we designed a new website, we hosted a reading event during our local arts festival, and we had two highly successful meetings with guest speakers, a visiting author and author coach Wendy Yorke. She and I connected immediately and we talked together, late into the night. I discovered she was also a literary agent with very good publishing contacts. So, I gave her my first book Gilding The Lily to read, she loved it, and offered me representation a few weeks later. As soon as this amazing person gave me the thumbs up, my writing spark came alive again. New ideas sprung into my mind with a vivid vision and I immediately wrote the synopsis for my second book.

Sometimes you only need one person to believe in you. Right now, I don’t feel anything can stop me. Thank you, Wendy Yorke. You have helped me come back to my writing and I love you for it. My second book is awakening and taking shape happily, and it feels fabulous!

9 Things About Dogs I Love

9 Things About Dogs I Love

 

Devotion.

An infinite amount of forgiveness.

They get excited just because… they’re alive.

Their enthusiastic zest for life.

They run for the joy of running.

They wear their hearts on sleeves – just like us.

Their willingness to be trained.

The possession of a deep, deep love for their owner.

Loyalty.

Pretty Ugly

Pretty Ugly

I wanted to share this wonderful poem because it’s so clever and uplifting.  I don’t know who its by, but if anyone out there does know, do please let me know.

 

PRETTY UGLY

I’m very ugly

So don’t try to convince me that

I am a very beautiful person

Because at the end of the day

I hate myself in every single way

And I’m not gong to lie to myself by saying

There is beauty inside of me that matters

So rest assured I will remind myself

That I am a worthless, terrible person

And nothing you say will make me believe

I still deserve love

Because no matter what

I am not good enough to be loved

And I am in no position to believe that

Beauty does exist within me

Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think

Am I as ugly as people say?

 

NOW READ FROM THE BOTTOM UP…

Just A Dog

Just A Dog

When my best friend died, I held him in my arms as he lay with his head on my lap and the vet injected him with a lethal fluid.  I curled my body around him and whispered ‘good boy, good boy’ against his soft face. His eyes glazed, but didn’t close and it was all over in about sixteen seconds.  My breath was lost with his.  I seemed to leave the room with him and didn’t want to come back to a world without him.  And when I uncurled, it was to a cold, hard floor and my bones ached.

On the way home, I thought of nothing but him.  I wanted to remember every last detail about who he was and this is what I thought:

How he snuggled his nose into the blanket with multiple miniscule nods before he succumbed to sleep.

The way he changed direction suddenly to fool his pursuer on a chase.

His curly-ears, my name for how his ears hung when he was particularly happy.

His doe eyes.

His constant attempts at levitation of food from our plates.

His high 5.

His whale song – my name for the sound that he made when he wanted something – he rarely barked.

His hug – when he would put both front paws on your shoulders and lean in.

His trotty front feet when he became excited.

His smile – he really did smile.

His lovely smell – he didn’t smell of dog – but something warm and close.

His love of kisses – especially between his eyes and on his head.

His stretches – he made the most out of every one.

The way he audibly breathed in when taking a treat ever so gently from your hand.

His Dalmatian markings – a Bindi on his face, an exclamation mark on his head and black kohl around his eyes.  His straight line spots, and his quincunxes.

His skinny tail and how it wagged – slow meant ‘inquisitive’ and fast meant ‘very happy indeed’.

The little pink bit at the end of his nose which felt like velvet and needed sun protection cream in the summer.

The softness of his coat, the silkiness of his ears.

How he hated his nails being cut.

His love of sleeps, especially next to, or on top of, one of us.

His jump ups at “walkies”  and his ‘oof’ instead of ‘woof’.

How he loved tummy rubs.

His rolls in the grass, his sunbathing and his reluctance to go out in the rain.

His health and safety issues – he’d bark at other dogs when they went in the water – couldn’t they see it was dangerous!

His tolerance of Yoda when he arrived as a smelly stray.

His disregard for Molly’s tellings off with his ‘whatever’ look.

How he’d sleep with his nose in the crook of his hock and his tail over his eyes.

Woofing tunefully in his sleep, his back legs pushing the air to the finish line in an imaginary race.

His yaw yaws – my name for his verbal yawns.

His paddle up the bed just to be closer to you.

His quick expectant look when you stopped stroking too soon, and then a shove and a paw slap if you didn’t respond.

His special blanket, chewed to a quarter of its original size, and how he asked you to pass it with a stare and a yaw-yaw.

His pink lips.

How he’d cover his eyes with his paws when he slept.

The way he would squint and turn away as the dirt flew up in chunks when the other dogs kicked the ground to scent mark.

The way he would drink half bowl water furiously before going for a walk – ‘hydrations is important’ he would silently say.

And how he loved to streak through the long grass in the early summer and then roll and crouch to hide from you and jump out when you got close.

All these things made him… him.  Not just a dog, not just an animal, not even just a human, but HIM.  DJ.  A friend.  A true, blessed companion.  An irreplaceable part of my heart.  Love personified, given, received.  Happiness in warm ball of fur.  A loving being, a true friend. But NEVER, never, just a dog.

New York, New York. So Good They Named It Fear City!

New York, New York. So Good They Named It Fear City!

When my parents divorced in the early 70s, in the days before travel was popular and flying to places became easy, regular and cheap, my father moved permanently to New York.   My only impression, as a six year old child, of America came, of course, from what I saw on the TV. The likes of The Brady Bunch, Happy Days, Charlie’s Angels, Columbo, The Bionic Woman to name but a few.  My favourite shows helped me create a spotlight on the USA.  It was fantastic, modern, and bright and WOW.  The American Dream became My Dream.  People said ‘cool’ and it sounded right, or held up their two fingers in the name of Peace, and it looked right – they wore huge sun glasses and they seemed to fit; and, after all, if Dad left us to go there, it MUST be an amazing place.  The images in my mind were of sunny days in hot, busy streets, crowded with successful, happy school kids, fit business people, roller skaters, colourful clothes, yellow taxis and shiny, new tall buildings – everyone, but everyone with a smile on their face.  “One day I would like to be there” I thought. Of course.

 

My brother had a different opinion – he was slightly older and grew up with Mad Magazine, which seemed to show off New York as a vision of violence and backstreet mistrust, amongst ironic viewpoints of underlying corrupt politics.  Both comic and brother were most probably way ahead of their time, and I refused to agree with either; not that I understood, but because I didn’t want to shatter my dreams.

 

Quite probably, my sibling’s opinion was more accurate.  Because, in reality, in the middle of that decade, things in that city weren’t quite as hot as I imagined.  On arrival in New York, tourists were handed leaflets entitled ‘Welcome To Fear City.  A Survival Guide for Visitors’, a shrouded skull emblazoned on the front.  Inside, the pamphlet warned people to ‘stay off the streets after 6pm’, ‘avoid public transportation’, ‘safeguard your handbag’ and ‘conceal your property’.

 

‘Remain in Manhattan.  Police and fire protection in other areas of the city is grossly inadequate and will become more inadequate.  In the South Bronx, which is known to police officers a ‘Fort Apache’ arson has become an uncontrollable problem.’

 

In 1975, New York Mayor Abe Beame was responsible for a city that was more than five billion dollars in debt and practically broke.  As well as fiscally, the city was in a steep moral decline – crime was rampant, rents were nominal, infrastructures were crumbling and urban decay was all around.

 

In order to begin the desperate and necessary change that summer, Mayor Beame laid off 20% (more than 10,000) uniformed police officers and firefighters, and up to 45,000 workers by that autumn.   The unions, of course, were outraged and reacted as such.  At a time when their presence was most crucial, they fought back, and were supported by many other related departments.

 

The leaflet opened with a paragraph explaining that ‘crime and violence in New York City is shockingly high, and is getting worse every day.  During April 1975, it was reported that robberies were up 21%; aggravated assault was up 15%; larceny was up 22% and burglary was up 19%.  It did however encourage visitors that ‘some New Yorkers do manage to survive and even keep their property intact.’  ‘Fear City’ was designed to provoke a reaction – what it said wasn’t entirely true – the streets were not deserted after 6pm and probably quite safe, as were many other neighbourhoods outside Manhattan.  And a reaction it did provoke.

 

The City’s legal team attempted, unsuccessfully, to block distribution of the leaflet and their reaction was to send representatives to Europe’s main cities to abay the fear that it may have caused.  By this time, after much discussion, some unions began to reassess the situation and withdraw their support for ‘Fear City’ – eventually its distribution just stopped.  Instead, other unions supported the city and instead of bring it down, decided to support it financially and got behind the debt.  By winter, a solution had been found and city was saved.

 

So, no-one can judge a book by its cover.

 

When I finally did visit New York for the first time at fourteen years old (some ten years later), I saw the city of my dreams, with eyes of a child; like Alice in Wonderland.  It was exactly how I had imagined – busy, clean streets – vibrant colours – huge, crowded buildings – sunny weather and happy people.  I loved it.  It didn’t make any difference to me that the Fear City campaign happened, even if I had known anything about it.

 

Later, in the 90s, I got into Friends.  It became a firm favourite and I still watch it on Sky when I can.  It helped secure my image of New York, when even floozy Phoebe can survive on the streets, and not-so-bright Rachel can do fantastically well in her career.  For them, it’s a city, a world, where hopes and dreams can, and did come true.

 

Today, I think, New York continues that trend and certainly seems more affluent – with some areas overhauled, renovated and improved vastly.  Crime continues to drop as do murder rates and tourism us at a high.  Shop until you drop, see the shows, eat until you can eat no more, stay up and party for 24-hours, be a culture vulture.  This is truly a city where anything is possible… and more.

 

I always understood why my father never wanted to return to the UK.  To me, over the almost forty years he lived in New York (his last house was Glen Cove in Long Island), he was happy and enthralled by its way, it’s energy and its people.  I don’t remember him ever mentioning Fear City.  The gifts he brought home for us kids – skateboards, Jets T-shirts, ‘I Heart New York’ stickers, spoke of another utopia and it never left my mind.

 

But thinking back, I remember him describing Coney Island.  I use this place and his description in my novel, and it could be a true image of how it was then, during that awful time.  Perhaps he did tell me about Fear City, but I was just too young to understand.

 

New York and I have something in common – we’re survivors.  New York survived its ungracious Fear City scandal and uncompromising arguments (and probably much more over the years).  At the same time as I survived my parents’ divorce, their passionate battles, and labours of love.  Thank goodness we both came through with all our hopes and dreams intact.  All I can do now is hope that I’m growing old as gracefully and charmingly as that amazing city.