I have passion for horses and because of this own two.  I will refrain from telling you all about how wonderful and beautiful they are (they are), because I’m not going to write about them here.  I also have two darling Dalmatians, who need a lot of exercise and love.  Because of this, I spend much of my time in jodhpurs or jeans.  Practical and necessary for both activities – even on the cloudless and rain-ree day.  In the summer it leads to something called T-shirt Tan – only my face and my arms ever see the sun. 

I rarely leave my passions behind and go abroad in seek of some RRR (rest, relaxation and… always forget the last one, probably because it never happens – is it rejuvenation?).  But, next week, I am.  I will venture on holiday with friends.  And I must say, I am very excited about this.  But not about exposing my thread-veined, bruised and translucent legs, which are, a fairly whiter shade of pale – and also look very odd alongside a brown face and arms.

Yes, spray tans and cream have occurred to me, but I am not well practiced at this and it would only result an embarrassing look akin to streaky bacon, which I think might be worse.

Most women, with normal, lovely limbs, got through a merry routine before exposing their legs in summer – exfoliation, waxing, moisturising, scrubbing.  So that fashionable, floaty dresses will skim across their toned calves and reveal a hint of perfectly toned knee.  But me?  No.  I will shave them occasionally, just so I can feel feminine, once in a while.  I have not the time, nor the inclination, because they’re usually covered up in jodhpurs or jeans, you see. 

So, next week, under the summer sun in the south of France, I’m going to have to deal with a cringe worthy reveal of my actual legs – uncovered and white as sheets.  They will offend – of that I’m sure, but my friends are my real friends who know about my passions, and I think my pins will be accepted in the world of summer-bronzed bodies, confident, fair strangers in their own foreign right.  And if anyone thinks otherwise, well of that, I don’t much care.